


Grave Men

by Catharrrsis



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Politics, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6262903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catharrrsis/pseuds/Catharrrsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>AARON BURR</b><br/>It’s my room, not a tomb, when did this house get so ghostly?<br/>How come all these dead men suddenly wanna roast me?<br/>Seems every corpse in this nation’s bent on being a pest--<br/>Makes a guy wanna ditch and start a country out west.<br/>But if it’s Hate Aaron Burr Day, let’s get on with the show.<br/>Who’s next? Step right up, you can all have a go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grave Men

**GEORGE WASHINGTON**  
Wake up!

 **AARON BURR**  
George Washington, sir! How can this be? Am I dead?

 **WASHINGTON**  
Not quite yet, Mr. Burr, don’t go losing your head.

Rise and shine, listen close, I’m glad you can hear me  
(You never know as a ghost.) Now I’ve got a small query.  
Are you mourning this morning, one day after the duel?  
Do you stand by your shot, or would you say you’re a fool?

 **BURR**  
Mr. President, sir, I’m in no mood to talk  
You’ve been dead for five years--to be frank, I’m in shock.

 **WASHINGTON**  
As usual, Aaron, you dive, flit, and duck  
I’ve got nothing but time, kid, you’re shit out of luck.  
No more dodging the question, what’ve you got to say?  
Would you undo the deed, if you could take back the day?

 **BURR**  
You asked, here’s my answer: He deserved the damn bullet  
At least he shut up when the blood filled his gullet.  
With Hamilton gone, my world’s looking wider  
And uptown’s looking better now it’s one asshole quieter.

 **WASHINGTON**  
Wow.

 **BURR**  
You oughta say thanks; I made your faux son a martyr.  
He’s at peace, I’m disgraced. Tell me, who has it harder?

 **WASHINGTON**  
I’ve disliked you since the war, but this sure adds to the tally.  
If you’ve got no remorse, then I’ve got no need to dally.  
Perhaps another George’s company is more up your alley. 

**GEORGE EACKER**  
It’s me, George Eacker--Your bird of a feather  
We Hamilton killers really oughta stick together.  
I kicked it six months ago, the culprit? Consumption  
I just came back to say that I admire your gumption.  
I’m a spirit, you’re my kindred, we’re like peas in a pod, man!  
A pair of duel winning sinners in a too angry God’s hands.

 **BURR**  
Oh please--I’ve got honor, not sure if you’ve heard of it  
You counted to ten, but you left out a third of it.  
You Too-Eager Eackers can do what you please  
Keep rollin’ in sleaze, but don’t tar the Aaron Burr with it.

 **EACKER**  
I killed Phil, you axed Alex, we’re alike more than not!

 **BURR**  
At least I hit ten before I fired my shot.

 **EACKER**  
News flash: no one cares. They’ll still call you a damn knave.

 **BURR**  
You’re trash. Leave me be, and go back to your damn grave.

 **EACKER**  
Okay.

 **BURR**  
It’s my room, not a tomb, when did this house get so ghostly?  
How come all these dead men suddenly wanna roast me?  
Seems every corpse in this nation’s bent on being a pest--  
Makes a guy wanna ditch and start a country out west.  
But if it’s Hate Aaron Burr Day, let’s get on with the show.  
Who’s next? Step right up, you can all have a go. 

**[BUTTON GWINNETT](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhFeQSBZUSk)**  
It’s me, big G, that is: Button Gwinnett

 **BURR**  
Who the eff are you, man? Have we even met?

 **GWINNETT**  
I signed the Declaration, the next year I was dead  
This time I ain’t quittin’ til my piece has been said.

 **BURR**  
I’m going back to bed.

 **ALEXANDER HAMILTON**  
Wait! 

**BURR**  
Please, not another mad ghost.

 **HAMILTON**  
Hardly. It’s me, A dot Ham, and it’s your fault I’m toast.

 **BURR**  
Shit. I’m sorry.

 **HAMILTON**  
Did you think of my family when you fired your gun?  
Eliza’s grieving a husband now as well as a son.  
My children lost a parent. Thanks Aaron! Apparently  
Bein’ orphaned yourself doesn’t cause solidarity.

 **BURR**  
Hamilton--

 **HAMILTON**  
And what about your daughter? I thought you raised her with pride.  
From now on she’ll catch flak for her dad’s homicide.  
They’ll say, “Look! It’s Theodosia, Aaron Burr’s little girl.  
Hamilton’s decomposin’ and it’s all ‘cause of her.”  
Good luck making your case, Mr. Talk-Less-and-Wait-for-It  
When your daughter’s lost face over hand-me-down hate for it.

 **BURR**  
Alexander, I’m sorry, I should’ve taken a breather.  
I didn’t mean what I said to George Washington either.  
They cast me as a villain, so I’ve played it to the hilt  
In public life I’m not willin’ to display any guilt.  
But in private--oh god--I can’t stand the remorse  
I survive it still but I’m just staying the course.  
I’ve got no excuse for my uncontrolled blunder  
I was stupid obtuse, now you’re cold six feet under.

 **HAMILTON**  
Hang on, did you just apologize, Burr?  
I have to admit, you’re surprising me sir.  
But I didn’t leave my grave just shame and chastise you  
In fact, you could say that I came back to advise you.

 **BURR**  
Okay.

 **HAMILTON**  
Aaron Burr, I won’t lie, I don’t think you’re the best  
(Though I maybe kinda biased by the wound in my chest.)  
Still, you’re not the worst either, screw what Lafeyette thought.  
And if you give up on life, then my death was for naught.

I returned from the dead ‘cause you’re facing a choice.  
Do you keep talking less or do you raise up your voice?

 **BURR**  
I thought I raised my voice plenty last primary season.

 **HAMILTON**  
And I endorsed Jefferson. Well, I had my reasons.  
But now Thomas runs the country at the whim of his vanity;  
Burr, you’re his Vice President! Mitigate this insanity.  
At least one politician’s gotta stand for humanity.

 **BURR**  
How?

 **HAMILTON**  
Come on, Aaron Burr, check what you’ve got:  
You have brains, you have guts, and you’re a hell of a shot.  
I’d think your law degree from Princeton would open some doors  
There’s a million different causes you could take on as yours.

We got crime, we got debt, Jesus Christ there’s still slavery  
Our society’s flaws demand tact, smarts and bravery.

You’re an abolitionist, ain’t it time you pulled rank for it?  
900,000 slaves would probably wanna say thanks for it.

 **BURR**  
My term’s almost up.

 **HAMILTON**  
But your career’s in full swing  
If you wanna play ball, then throw your hat in the ring!

 **BURR**  
But--

**HAMILTON**  
I’ll cut to the chase, Burr, it’s time for some candor:  
We know what you fell for, now what’ll you stand for?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! Please feel free to point out any places where it doesn't scan well or any suggestions you have for improvement. I'd also like to formally propose that we include Button Gwinnett as a minor character in all of our fan works from now on.


End file.
